Want to be Close To YOu ...

In the mist of you not being here ...
My heart grew fonder ...
I miss you so much ......

What have you done to me?

The smell of mine ...
Has now found its way to you ...
I smell you when I smell me ...

Reminiscence

As the day unfolds,
Traces of the unknown shadows over,
Sweet memories played over and over.
Laughter of sweet laugh echoes from a distance.

His arms wrapped in a warm tender way.
Embraced the love with ease and surety.
Touching their lips to lips as an expression of love.
With warm tender hands caressing her cheeks.

"I love you", he whispered.
She respond with a loving hug, " I love you, too".
Two hearts bind with clarity, the comprehensibility of knowing tht nothing will stand in between them.

Who are we to know,
What, when and how true feeling exists through time to time ..
How can we go against all odds to stop calamity to struck,
When two hearts recognises the existance of uncluttered feelings.
Heading opposite direction looking away from each others', once loving eyes ..
Blames the other of every uncertainty but themselves.

Not All Tht You See Today

Not all tht you see today
Flourishes the inner soul with beauty and intelligence
But an outstanding example of its kind ...

Not all you see today
Fills the heart with contentment and satisfaction
But it's an act of fulfilling a desire, a need to one's appetite

Not all you see today
Brings blessing and thanksgiving
But don't forget it's your prayer tht is an act for asking for HIS protection

But then again, Not all tht you see today
Is a waste to this life tht we are living ...

This Is Not a Sad Song

Still breathing easy ...
Sleeping peacefully ...
Lies uncover, truth prevailed.
It goes on ...

Her fragile heart has stopped beating for her past ...
For, she has moved on away from the hurt ...
Hurt after hurt ...
Lies after lies ...

Empty promises, full of hope and believing ...
It was so real and convincing ... she believed once again.
But hey .... fooled once, fooled twice ...
It's time to close the chapter and move on ... away from the past
For never again ... she will walk in tht pain of torment ever again.

A rare gem

I stumbled upon a gem
Unpolished as it seems ...
Brushed it clean to reveal its brilliant gleam.
A true gem indeed...
Revealing its fine cuts and its glint.
I wonder who's the keeper..
To this precious oddity.
Shall I keep it or shall i leave it ...
Oh well .... It's the finder's keeper.

Paradise

If we'd discover the long lost art dying
Only the lonely resent angels for flying
Addicted, You can't be that close to somebody without being
so far afar
This is paradise

In light of what we speak, I seek for the keys to your Egypt....
Let me roam and serenade for the Oasis that I’ve known as Home....
upon starry eyes, I dwell upon her sands.....
guide me to my desert rose for now i know where i Belong.....

A thought became the dream so it seemed thus love beamed to let me in to be exploded in me soul to let me free past shades confused the haze set tones confined my way life's salts I taste as old as time seas sprayed the bitter slave of Abe in all save dignity for all to see the blind became serenity so therefore tears the seas that brought to me I cried therefore I am the shade blue in bliss was not the colours of my heart in love fired the spark the coals burned hot to be ignite to truly find the passion white at heart the pawns alone could not play complex part a cupid simply stole the queen's part the arrows stricken pierced the kings down the armies marched against the clowns I cry therefore I am the joy of life my cupid's hands and somewhere lies the dream!

If we'd discover the long lost art dying
Only the lonely resent angels for flying
Addicted, You can't be that close to somebody without being
so far afar
This is paradise

Morning wake II

in the morning when i began to wake,
i see your face next to mine ...
That feeling
tht YOu have placed in my heart
I FEEL.

Your presence ...
Your warmth ...
And your touch ...
So to speak ....

Gently caressing your skin at the ball of my fingertips ...
Sliding down slowly not to miss every feel of it.
I feel YOu close to mine ..

Keeping watch so close now, not so far ...
The clear view I had ... seems fading, not too soon
but I guess it will eventually thru time ...

I have you in my heart ... just right there.
So close, I FEEL you in every breath I take ...
My heart aches to think of this distance and of THIS DISTANCE...
I wish I had not known the unknown ...
Like i would say, some things are best left unsaid ..
What I wouldnt know, wouldnt hurt ...
So my dear beloved ...
Is this mistake is a mistake?

Morning wake I

in the morning
when i began to wake,
it happened again

that feeliing
That you, Beloved,
Had stood over me all night
keeping watch

that feeling
That as soon as i began to stir

you put your lips on my forehead
and lit a holy light
inside my heart.

Overfilling Cup

When your problem arises
You would think there's nothing like yours compared to what others' are or may be going through
But, when one really get an opportunity, or allow themself to listen
Then, you'll realise yours is nothing compared to many more who are out there
Especially to those, that you don't know.

If only, there's an instrument one can measure one's problem with.
Putting a scale and a level of degree of severity.

I feel for you
I wish I could be a help
I wish I could help you forget some so you get a peaceful night sleep
But now that I know, I will pray all that will come to an end.
I will pray you will have a better life

A peaceful sleep
A peaceful sip
An ease at heart
Peace at mind

Sleep well, for tomorrow I pray it will get better and better than yesterday.

BITTER

I was told my blog spills bitterness in my life ...
Am I?
I ask myself that question.
I venge my anger in words that I speak not ...
Others' hears nothing but just pleasantness in my tone of voice.

My heart contents hurt and pain
Only my soul bears its torment.
What do others' know behind this smile
What do others' know from this saddness eyes of mine

You think you are so smart ...
You think I have no right
Read my blog if you want to ...
But comments like that i appreciate, you shuff it up your ass.
Thank you, then again; no thank you.

Not ever ...

I'm lost for words ...
For whatever I have to say for now.
But the answer is clear, for whatever tht has already happened before.

I am not backing down.
Not now, not before and not ever.
Traits one inherit
And habit acquired.

Once bitten, a million times shy ...

Chicken porridge for the soul ...

I was down wif gastric pain ...
It's been ages since I got that pain. But the feeling wasn't unfamiliar.
I've mastered the level of abdominal pains ...
Tell the signs and I know what they are ...
From gastric to appendices way to ulcers ... and now with chronic pancreatitis ...

My tolerance to pain ... no one can tell tht I am in excruciate pain.
Not unless when my pancreas kicks in ...
That is so unbearable, it jams my movement right from the knee ... and many more.
Its worst than an Ouch.

I was feelng for porridge ...
As usual I don't stock my kitchen not unless if I have visitors that as well, could be, maybe ...
I'm not a rice fan, but I do have rice in smallest ever packaging tht I can purchase in.
And of coz ... it's when I'm in need most of tht somethg, I never find it.
But I have brown rice ... so I thought ... I could do a brown rice porridge, why not?! more healthier than white.

Yeah ... definitely! It didn't work ...
It looked like burnt oats or maybe tiny cooked maggots ... gross!
My heart sank ... for all that I have to waste.
Scrambling through kitchen cupboards, as usual ... hoping to find for somethg light and easy to swallow without chewing ...
Yes ... i did find somethg ... a potato leek soup in a can, mind you! still edible ...
Heated up some and went to bed.
Christy called ... told her my woeful plight ... in attempt to cook porridge and how unsucessful tht ended.
And of coz ... my christy saved the day " i'll cook you yur porridge and bring it over".
Nice .... I am so grateful to God for blessing with wif great fren.

And there she came, poured my porridge in a bowl, scrambling in my kitchen looking for a spoon and fighting wif my cats getting them out of her way. My kittens can be annoying many times when preparing food.
Chicken porridge ... yumm ....
It was the best food I had for the past 8 days.
Feels better now. Gastric is gone ...
Cats are calm. I'm relax.
Thx babe ... appreciate all of it. Thx, once again!
xxx

Feeling Exhausted ...

Just got back from a seven day trip.
From far east to australiasia. Why not?!
It's been more than a yr and a half since i've done long trips like this ...
I can feel 'cracks', split headaches and fatigue overwhelming ...

Probably age is catching up or maybe doing this job for too long.
Of coz, with sydney freezing temperature make matters even worse.
A crew wif running nose ... catched up with 6 others', incl. myself.
What a trip ...

My final sector came ...tht was a relief! Knowing tht the trip is coming to an end. Thk God!
I miss my lovely cats ...
My head was in constant play over record ...
Thinking about my kittens, esp. kiki going into the washing machine and got locked by barnie.
My heart was so jumpy ... worried i might find one of kittens rotten overdone for a week and Diana knew not of it!

The moment I open my door, I was greeted by all of them.
Relief!
They are all alive and jumping. Of coz, abit grown and barnie still as fat as i left him the last time.
Gave them their wet food, their treat for once a week ...
And a little let loose at the corridor.

Lovely day ... *smiles...

Blue

I am feeling abit down ....
Not that I am upset or anything ...

Just ... in a reminiscence mode
My time in saudi ..

Fasting month is approaching ...
The best month in year round.
Can't wait ...

For many reasons, why I am so looking forward for it to arrive.
I'm making my possible attempts calling TA n embassy to make an
unfeigned intention come true.

God, help me.
For only YOU can.

Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Mirror Image

"he studied his reflection in the mirror"

A remark expressing careful consideration

"Do I see me?", he asked.
"Very well, indeed", he spoke in his fashionably tone.

Do I see me?
I would ask tht to myself, sometimes ...
What do I see in me tht others' don't?
And, what does others' sees in me, tht I don't?

Why do I not see my own reflection in others' point of view?
And, what is it, in their point of view tht I don't see the clarity of their judgement?
And, why do many judge many others' from the way they look?

Why, do they not bother to make time to know each other?
Why, do they not bother to spend time to know one another?

Some remarks passed, are worth pondering
And for some, it just a waste of time.
I wish I could see me to correct me.
I wish, those I see in others' could be a learning experience for me too.

Rather than, making a pass
And making a fool of myself.
I learn and should learn to look away n take a good look at myself.

Only Time

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

(interlude)

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

(interlude)

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

(long interlude)

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...

Hey Delilah

Hey theyre Delilah
Whats it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square cant shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
dont you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
Im by your side

Ohhh, its what you do to mee
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are gettin hard
but just beleive me girl
some day i'll pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say,
if every simple i wrote to you
would take your breath away
I'd write it all.
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Ohhh, it's what you do to mee
Oh, it's what you do to me (x2)

A thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way.
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because
we know that none of them have felt this way

Delilah I could promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
you be good and dont miss me
2 more years and youll be done with schooland
I'll be making history like
I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah heres to you,
this ones for you

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
Waht you do to me
Oh oh oh oh etc

Letters ...

She's been reading all those letters she sent.
Bringing her back into that memory lane.
She wishes she could change most of what she have said.
So, she can bring him back, to be here, with her back again.

Some things are best left unsaid.
To avoid angers and feelings unchange.

Why and why and why ...
Can it not be restore, help and change
So we can be better to each other again.

So, she said these words to him ...

"I love you, my baby ...

I am sorry, so sorry ... There's no one else I see myself with but ..

Can we ... pls ...

....

I love you.

love, yur princess"

She thought she got him and he got her
Going stronger
And ...
No matter what happens ... will always pull through, together and forever ...

Not all love story comes to a good end.

But she still believes ... burning that flame for him.

Keeping you close to mine ...

Keeping you close to mine ..

Burning the flame alive.

The Way I Are

For listening pleasure ....

[Verse 1: Timbaland]
I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers
But together we'll be the perfect soulmates
Talk to me girl

[Bridge: Keri Hilson]
Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me
If we go there, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus: Keri Hilson & (Timbaland)]
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way you are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like, I like, I like

[Verse 2: Timbaland]
I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
It don't matter 'cause I'm the one that love you best
Talk to me girl

[Bridge 2: Keri Hilson]
Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me
If we go there, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus: Keri Hilson & (Timbaland)]
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way you are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are

[Verse 3: D.O.E.]
Baby girl, I don't got a huge ol' house I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl, I ain't got a motorboat but I can float ya boat
So listen baby girl, once you get a dose of D.O.E. you gon' want some mo'
So listen baby girl, when I make it I want you back, want you back, yeah

This Is for you.

Its not what you have in your life that is important, its who you have that is....

My sunflower

Pills...

It either makes you well or it makes you ill.

Pills, it's easy to reach for ...

Depending on the purpose you intent to ...

for sleep

for relaxation

for self satisfaction

for self-indulgence

or for an end of one's chapter.

Vanish

So he left ...

With no words or any qualms.

Left you wondering

Why and what about ...

Promises of empty words.

No guilt or whatsoever.

So, he left.

You faltered downright

No where to find you.

Lived your days through and through.

Walked your life, just like any other

You were, expressionless

You were, notionless

You were, like a living dead person.

Two hours of sleep suffice the body.

Mind at rest.

Heart still beating.

You did nothing,

To heal yourself.

You didn't even walk away.

Nor, did you even cry.

But your thoughts,

Was no where near you.

But left you, wondering ...

In search of nothing.

Help ...

Help?

Help me to help you ...

How is that?

So much has already happened.

Or may i be specific, just that one incident ruin it all.

One said to me before - "Take me for who i am today, not for whom i was yesterday"

True, if the heart says so.

But this heart is not convinced.

My own eyes blinds me ...

My own heart cheats on me ...

To believe, that one changes for better.

How is that?

Truly, how is that?

My heart beats for that only one.

Just that one that is not responding ...

So, help me ... to help you.

Coz, i truly do not know.

Scrap Of my Past

Scrap Of my Past
Still haunts me till now.
Hush away ... but still remains as it is.

It's been a decade, and still ...
Why wouldn't it go away?
I buried you deep down ...
Recondite in historiography

I have to gather guts ...
Constant prayers in thoughts ...
Seeking protection from God
To have you there, face to face.

I feel fearful, having you in my thoughts.
Whatmore, in sight.

I'm sorry we can't friends.
Not now, not anymore.
I don't see you as you are ...
For I wish, but I just coudn't.

I wish you well ...
I really do.
You made it this far ...
This well.

Good for you ...
Good on you ...
Take care and your well being.

I did Nothing today ... but SURF.

Time really flies...
Just not long ago, my apartment was looking bright with so much light from outside.
And now, my lamp shade by the sofa that was on 24/7 together with the kitchen light ... shadows my living area.

All I did was, sitting at the same spot surfing my net.
The only time I moved was to go in for shower.
And to put chicle back to his apartment.
Coz, bunny is having a blast attacking chicle.
Poor chic!
Len will kill me for letting her child being traumatise by bunny.

Oh, wat a day ...
I've never seen my cats sleeping this much in my entire time having them around.
All I know, I can sleep for hours and probably get up the following day.
Hmmm... some competition going on.

Gone

What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered
Never open
Nothing matters
When you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending
Always over
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster
I am breaking
That habit
Today

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone


There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hint and walk away
'Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get
What you see's not what you get
You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already goneI'm already gone
Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone
Already gone
I'm gone

I bear no grudges ...

I bear no grudges
Don't get me wrong ...
It just some things that wasn't made clear to me.
I don't wish to prolong it.
Not now, not anymore.

A year and a half has passed.
Many more days yet to come.
So lets' call it quits.
From now, from then and forever.

I will help you just this once, and for final.
And the condition that I mentioned, still stands.
And the rest is up to you.

When a trust Is broken ...

My heart hurts immensely, when a trust is broken.
When trust is broken ... it is the end to a relationship, friendship.
It snaps any ties tht binds together, doesn't matter how long, doesn't matter how close.

I am sorry to those I have hurt ...
I am sorry for those whom I have to say my goodbyes to.
I'm sorry, forgiveness is the best I can offer.
I am sorry I do not wish to carry on with this burden.

I hope you know who you are, tht can forgive me too.
If I have offended you in anyway.

I meant no harm.
I cherish those times we spent.
I never expect any returns.
All that I did for you, was sincere.
And now, I think I know ..
This friendship wasn't meant to be long term.

Good to know you ...
Never take things for granted ...
And never take advantage wht's laid infront of you and open for you ...

Forgiveness ...

My friend once told me,
forgiveness is the best medicine to set the heart free from wickedness and ill towards others'

Seek forgiveness from God
And, Insyallah ...
The weight that's weighing you down will lift your spirit to live your life in a greater aspects.

Forgive those you've hurt you ...
Forgive those who bear grudges against you...
Forgive those who has ill heart against you ...
And above all, forgive yourself for the things tht only you know tht made you feel less and down for whatever that you cannot keep up to or fullfill what you shud have in the past.

I've learnt alot for that short period of time being around her.

And am I putting tht into practice ...
Sometimes I do ...
And sometimes ...
God forgive me..
Give me the strength to be forgiving and less temperament.
Give me the courage to face this life with strength, patience and courage.
And above all, keeping my faith together.

A phonecall I wish I cud make ...

Sometimes, I wish I could just pick up my phone and make a call to God.
Ask him questions of why ..
Tell him things all of that of todays'
Make my qualms..
Throw a fit ...
Cry ...

And above all, thanked him for everything and many mores.
I just wish ...

I want HIM to speak to me ..
Help me decide ...
Give me an answers that I can hear ...
Definite reasons and make it clear.

I just wish ...
God, why do answers come later ...
Why can't it be now ..

C-Cups

Irresistible ...

This was a fine selection of sweet Tease for a after- dinner party that was organised by a gd friend.

Of coz, menu was carefully planned out ...

Starter Choice :

Avocado & prawns accompanied with a selection of garden salad and a hint of thousand Island dressing at the side.

Main Course :

Shredded Chicken sauteed with bell pepper and onion, then stirred into hot shell like pasta with cream base sauce.

To die for ...

Sweet Tease :

A selection luscious of c-cups to choose from a gallery pink box with lacy ribbon finishing ...

CCup Signature
Tempt Me Not
Black Tie Event
Green With Envy
Isle Love U
Buried Zest
Tickle Me Pink

And of coz ...

With Sisha at the side ...

Carefully selected a Choice of Fine range of Flavoured Tobacco from Middle Eastern, Naif Road.

Double Apple

Or

Green Grapes

With A Hot Tea to settle the food and park the ass to warm up the cushion. Nice ...

What they don't know, wouldn't hurt ...

What a cliche'
A person and two ...
We sat down to have coffe
Talking about boyfriend's and the one to be.
We agreed on alot
Stuff that only a selfish mind would like.
Funny, when one of them passed a remark like this
"What they don't know, wouldn't hurt"
I totally agree
Why can't many play smart
Why only the fools get caught
Some of us can carry on denying
Playing the innocence
But behind that unveiled mask
Many of us has been a victim to those, who of an innocence act.

How could you ...

How could you ...
I trusted you with my heart ...
You betrayed me, inside out.

No worries ...
Everything is coming clear to me.
This friendship was never meant to be.

You lead your way and I will lead mine.
Tarnish those memories, with silver marking and dyes.
Goodbye and be gone ...

Coz,
This friendship is so over ...
And DON'T, even bother!

Walk Away N Get Lost..!

Hey You! ...
Yes, You!

Cut the chase.
What are you trying to proof?
That you are the angel and I am the devil.

Nice try...
You conceited fool.
What's your concern?
Bore yourself to death...
Nothing better to do ... dive yourself in my own shoes.

Why bother, babe...
It's none of your concern.
It's my life and you are not the one who's walking on it.
Get gone with yours ...
You've got yours to worry about.

Leave my past alone ...
Who are you to tell?
And leave my comrades on their own...
They don't need your lies to be fooled..

Watch what you say ...
Your own words you might swallow some day ...

My mind's made up.

Something I thought I can sleep over and decide after ...
Gosh ... It took so long!
Uncomfortable bumps surfacing on my temple ...
Pricky pain under my skin.
Please make it go away....

Thank you to my dear found fren.
Thank you, for enlightening my cloudy thoughts between two that favours most.

I got the job, however I couldn't decide if that's what I want most.
Yes, it's the life that I have sucked myself into.
But, I don't want to be sucked and swallowed!

Is there anything else apart for this flyby's?
I want to move to a different level with no wings sticking out of my back ... take it off (shrug' shrug')
Overall, it's which one that offers the best and allows me to grow towards success and a complete stability, in long term advancement.
I got my answer ... I'm staying!
Sorry gal, I hate to disappoint you but don't we all walk on our different paths and do meet at small crossroads for a little chats, updating latest gossips, flaunting our assets and not forgetting... lifting cups, enjoying our freshly brewed coffees.

The Life I sucked myself into...

Is that glamourous?
Many would think so ...
Exotic destination ...
Travelling many places in a short period of time ...
Meeting people ...
Collecting different currency notes and coins ...
Bitching ...
Keeping up with latest trends
Losing sleep and still looking STUNNING!

In all that, if only they knew.
The things that we have to put up ...

The time that I have lost ...
Being with close ones and losing them along the way becoz of work, distance and time lost.
If I had choose something else apart from what I am in today, would all of that be any different?

I enjoyed my job, but now it's just a job.
I go places
I meet people
Friends, we bind
Acquaintance, we say goodbyes

In all that, I cherish what is more valuable.
My faith ...
My life ...
My job ...
My friends ...
My cats ...

Anything more, than what I expect comes along ...
It just a blessing ... on another transit.

Reflection

Who am I? Do I see me, when I see me?

Reflections ... Of me.

Must I pretend to be someone else, other than me

To please the world and people around me.

Who am I, if I am not who I am?

Who's this inside me that I see the appearance of who I am outside.

Look at me.

You may think you see,

Who I really am.

But you'll never know me.

Every day ...

It's as if I play a part.

Now I see ...

If I wear a mask,

I can fool the world.

But I cannot fool my heart.

In between Crossroad

So much has happened in a short period of time.

Good happenings... And I am glad.

And many more, I am blessed with.

I am in between crossroad ...

To choose between, what I have now to be content with or to move in a total different environment where I have to grow in a major independent role.

It's not that, I am not at this point of time. I am, but there's many dealings than just this. I hope this changes are for better and a growth to many more opportunities and a vast expansion in a great dimension.

God, help me.

I hope whatever decision I set my mind and heart on is a progress in this very life of mine.

The Great Wall of China

Just like a gigantic dragon, the Great Wall winds up and down across deserts, grasslands, mountains and plateaus, stretching approximately 6,700 kilometers (4,163 miles ) from east to west of China.

Excitement abounds in the origin, vicissitude and nature of the great wall of the Qin, Han, and Ming dynasties.

The great wall was originally built in the Spring, Autumn, and Warring States Periods as a defensive fortification by the three states: Yan, Zhao and Qin.

The construction of the Great Wall, drew heavily on the local resources for construction materials, was carried out in line with the local conditions under the management of contract and responsibility system. A great army of manpower, composed of soldiers, prisoners, and local people, built the wall. The construction result demonstrates the manifestation of the wisdom and tenacity of the Chinese people.

It tells a story about the country, its people, the governor and their nature towards succession, power and pride.

Exciting DAy ... I had for Today.

An Exciting ... And an amazing Day I had Today..

I had mY interview today

And my X factor, domestic partner

Surfaced

For the first time, after so long ...

LOL

mY interview went well

Not sure, how i fare

I think I did good ...

Anyhow, will see.

I see a smile

ear to ear

Y?

I'm not sure of.

Maybe, something good is bound to happen

I want to think of it, that way.

I do.

I want success

I want happiness

I want the good things in life

Not just for me, for everyone else too; who deserve a second living

When one falters

Take your time to pick up your pieces

When one laugh a laughter

Laugh with them and share the joy that's passing by for them for tht moment in time

For your sorrows' drown within seconds of others' joyfulness

And that misery

Is just another glitch

That will soon pass you by.

God Bless...

Thk You, Ya Allah for today's blessing

All Praise To You

Mi amor ...

Mi amor,
I wish for time ...
Time to speak to you ...
Speak my thoughts of you...
You, got me ...


Got me hanging on ...
Hanging on to something tht i don't know if it's worth hanging on

I thought I know you ...

You may know them forever ...

You may know them for a second ago ...

BUt all that time you thought you know them

Some things are just buried beneath, down under that you cannot find ways to get to its unknown territory.

How bizarre...

A cent given.

A penniless returned.

Nevertheless, did i doubt them ...

Not even close ...

Some things are best left unsaid ...

Some things are best left untouched ...

For some, they'll find their way to unguard their insecurities

And for some, God help them.

The Equator ...

I just got back from Entebbe in Uganda - The Pearl Of Africa ... my favourite destination AFRICA.
Doesn't matter where ... but i have a 'thing' for africa.
Probably, I was a black girl in my previous life ... came back in this life as a 'coloured' person.
God knows what's on my next life ... maybe 'white'?!

Anyways ....

I was there at the EQUATOR in UGANDA, standing between the equal distant of both North and South Pole, which is 9640 kilometres (6025miles).

1267 metres above sea level (3800 feet) and 0 degrees longitude.

DID YOU KNOW?

1. The average temperature is 22 degrees Celsius ( 72 degrees Fahrenheit).
2. Boiling water measures less than 100 degrees Celsius.
3. Your weight is 3% less at the Equator line.
4. You are revolving 2409 miles around the globe at a speed of 1040.6 per hour about the earth's axis.
5. THIS IS A PHENOMENON! read on ...
21st March and 23rd September are equatorial equinoxies.
The sun rises and sets directly above the equator line. At this point of time, whoever are there by the equator ... you are shadowless! Cool huh! Hv to bid a flt to this very place to witness this act of God's miracle.
6. At this point, at the equator, water drops straight down ... REALLy! I witness this one, payment for this physics viewing for solo USH5,000 n in a group USH 10,000.
USH-Uganda Shilings ... US$1 = USH 3,600. Why not?! since i'm there already!
7. This is how It works....
It's the force of the magnetic fields that's down under us that does the job ...
If you are standing on the south side of the equator, water flows anti-clockwise down.
Now, fill up your sink with water, let it stay still then drain it ... you'll witness that the flow of water goes down twirling in anti-clockwise, that's if you are in the south of the equator ... whereas on the North it goes clock-wise.

Hmmm... quite an educational trip ...

The best part... i got pictures but not in my camera! ... dumb, huh! I was lazy to bring it coz the battery went flat and too lazy to charge it! Issh! the beauty of Africa was magnificent ...
I will rise early just to view the sunrise .. it's Subahanallah! Can't describe it! Will do tht trip again ... I promise to make a comeback to get my gorilla, craved beautifully out of a wood ... not sure wat wood that is?! But it's gorgeous! fell in love with it the moment i lay my eyes on it ...
Especially its ass!

Central Perk ..

My new found hang out place ....
Where 'Friends' hangs out too.
Only tht ... it's in Dubai ...

Cool huh!
Found it by chance!
I was driving home wif a friend passing thru tht alley ...
And, finally got a chance to patronise the place yesterday n today wif gd frens ... of coz.
Coffee and sandwiches are really yummy.
The best part they hv wireless internet connection, wow!

Will be by new place now, away frm the society n away frm the busy shk zayed.

If you looking for the right one ...

I met a stranger when I was home the last time,
He's not from my homeland, but somewhere very far ...

We sat for a coffee
Chatting away ... well, he was doing the talking and boasting his life away.
Interesting .... and *YAWN!

Talking about his life, family
Where he grew up, what he does
And how empty his friends life is without him, especially when there's a party going on
Of coz, HE claims he's a party starter
WHATEVER!

I couldn't wait for his drink to finish
I can feel my legs are ready to sprint off
Just waiting for the trigger on the gun shot to be pressed ...
And the loud shout of ready, get set and 'GO!'

The starting line of a race makes my heart beats in a million beats ...
Making me feel exhausted downright even before the start of it ... Ishh!
I remember those days ...
But still, my mind craves the finishing line before I begin my stride.

Of all the conversation he went on with.
One caught my attention.
"If you are looking for the right one, you will never find it!"
And I asked, how is tht?
Even if he or she was a physco, you would still want to think that they are the right one?!
Obviously, tht question was dodged away ...

It made me think, though ...
It made sense in a way.

I think, it takes two hands to clap.
I think it takes two person to want and need what they want from each other.
I think if both has the same intention and the same goal, then working together as a team and keeping the relationship going is an effort of two person who wants the same things in life.

And, What I meant in this is not having the same stuff or sharing the same colour or eating from the same bowl.
But, wanting want they want for themselves and for each other ...
That they are willing to compromise things together and work out a plan if both has different opinion in matters.
Even if there was a glitch, none of the party will call it quits but looking at it as a challenge to overcome individual difference and work it out.
And THAT! is one of the mix in building a form of a foundation to keep the building firm and strong.
(If you are an architect, you will know what i'm talking about)
That they both can assess one other by understanding each other as an individual and not as a whole.
Knowing their weakness and their strength, not to provoke or use it against them.
And able to share thoughts and talk things through without throwing things into one anothers' face ...
And above all, leaving the past in the past and working on the present for a better being for the future.

I think I'm talking about my ancestor ....
Hmmm ... sounds more like them than the current living being.
And where can I find these people ...
Do I see any hands in the air ...
Not here, I suppose.

fLYAWay Friends ...

Dubai ...

Is a place no other than just a transit.

For some, they get comfortable quickly and settle down for good.

And, for many of us, is just a place to make quick bucks and leave for better.

I was there ...

Thinking, that i did my time and it was time to go.

Not because I want to but I was making sacrifice for other, that I thought was worth making

Nay, I was wrong.

I said my goodbyes to my good friends ...

Friends, that I'll cherish for life

They had been there, thru thick and thin

And still are.

Now, I see my very own friend, leaving ...

Leaving for good ...

Leaving for a better future ...

I see her sacrifice, worth sacrificing for ... I suppose.

I wish her all the best, in her new career and in her new life to the next level.

I thought, when I leave, things will be different.

Friends that I lived with and grew with, times in dubai

will eventually go on their separate ways ...

Coz, of the distance and the lifestyle.

I was wrong.

We kept in touch time to time.

Meet up in between cities

Make time for stopover to catch up with gossip.

And, picked up from where we left off.

These are friends, whom will be there thru time.

Though, how far you go or wherever you end up...

Hi and hello never seems tough, to drop it off.

Catch up with you, my dear friend.

On my next layover.

xxx

Home again ...

I was home two days ago...
Met a few good friends and did a few errands, as usual...
Squeeze a little time for a stanger too.

I did not make an attempt to go see my aunt or any family members'
Or to inform anyone other than my close ones that I was home.
I stayed in the hotel, the view that I had, was magnificent ... mermerising too...

The stillness of the night, fills the empty soul with peace.
The quietness, with loneliness ...
Home feels like, no longer a home.
I love home, that's where i lay my foot ...
The air, that I breathe in ...

But, it's no home to me, not anymore ...
I only feel pain when I am there ...
I only think of hurt when I am there ...

So much has happened...
All that, in the past ...
And I still feel it ...
Why? Maybe I am still holding on ...
In my thoughts, and carry it in my heart.

I want to look away from familiar places
And familiar faces ...
Faces that pinned darts in my head ...
And buried hurtful words in my heart ...

Sigh ...
Bad thoughts ... bad thoughts.
Please go away...
Coz, i want to be home again.
Home with my friends ...
And my love ones ...

Promise of Our Little Pinky fingers

Promise Of Our Little Pinky fingers

Should I uphold to it

Or, Should I just ignore it?

What about the promises you've made to me

Where did all that go to?

How did you uphold all of those you've said?

You said you trust me that i'll keep up to it.

Now, you trust me...

That's funny!

Coz, you never did!

Promises are meant to be broken

Only, those unworthy of your trust.

I can

And, I will, uphold to this promises we've made.

And when everything else has subsided

And pass us by just like any other day

Remember...

The promise of Our Little pinky fingers.

A woman Like me

Do you think
You could fall for a woman like me
'Cause I find it hard to trust
I need too much
And I really don't believe in love, no no
Do you think
That I could be the girl of your dreams
Sometimes I don't let things go
Get emotional
And sometimes I'm just out of control


You need to stop for a minute
Before you get too, deep up in it(Too deep)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me(Woman like me)
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it(No no)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me


Do you think
That I could be the one that you seek
'Cause baby I'm one step ahead
You're two steps behind
But baby I don't mind
Do you think
That I can make you real happy baby
Just don't get me wrong
My loving is so strong
But I ain't tryna lead you on


You need to stop for a minute(No no)
Before you get too, deep up in it(No no)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems(Seems)
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me(Woman like me)
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it(Without it)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me
Oh


You need to stop for a minute(Stop for a minute)
Before you get too, deep up in it(Before you get too deep up in it)
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
You need to think about it(Think about it, baby)
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it(No, no)
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me
Woman like me

Risk ...

To love is to risk not being love in return

To hope is to risk disappointment

But risks must be taken becoz the greatest risk in life is to risk not.

love begets love

The best thing about being In love

Is having someone to share everything with.

To share your Insecurities and strengthens with.

It lets you completely remove any separation that exists

between you and another person.

When you feel in love and when you're in love that's a great place to be.

He's All.... tht I've known.

daddy dearest ...

Shei ...

You are like no other,

no comparison to any other.

Don't want it to end like that.

B,

forgiveness I seek

regretness followed with it.

Don't obstinate this action of yours

this heart still hurts,

And it is still hurting.

Your silence is deafening, B.

Speak,

there's a voice crying out loud within you.

It wants to be heard,

why can't you let yourself out.

What are you afraid of?

Hurt?

Being hurt, b ...

I am hurt ...

so.. hurt, by you, b.

Please ... your voice, I want to hear.

To tell, what you've been keeping within.

Speak, b.

I am listening ...