Change ...

11 months ago, I made a decision to leave this place that I call home for a better living. So I thought. As I am writing now ... I am just right here at my favourite spot, writing about my change.

Back in this comfort spot where I used to enjoy every moment of it, only after a year and half being in this place, contributed 80% of my tears evaporated to the atmosphere, I found my spot. Thanks to my dearest friend. Eversince she left things got abit drastic ...

Everyone that I know, is leaving or has left ... one after the other ...
Why? Coz there were better opportunity awaits them ...
Why? Becoz ... they know this is only temp.
Why? Their life is wait to progress ... to grow ... to fullfill their other intention ....

I have moved 5 times in a year ...
Changed job, thrice in less than a year ...

Eversince, I left my other job that I thought it's what I want ...
I lost my stability ...
Stability in life, in finance, in making decision what I want for myself.
Wanting what I WANT.

I can't even make a decision if I want to eat for today ...
To choose where to live ...
To purchase a colour for my curtain that would suit my apartment.

I wasted heaps of money for being indecisive.
Paying for mistake, choices on impulsive wanting ...

How would I or how can I recover my losses ....
I want my stability back ...
Not wanting what I had but wanting what I can for a better living

Being optimistic is in my clause.
Looks like it has vanish into the tiny air, I call atmosphere.
Can I be helped?
Do I need help?
I donno about that ...

What's becoming of me?
I have no conscious to fight ...
I have no feeling of what's right ...
What should I do ...
I can't even hear my voice no more

It's time for a change ...
So I said .... just like everyday, I tell my myself it's gonna be alright ...
Has it?