French Connexion

There’s so much that I can say what I have said;
How I feel, what I feel and why I feel it.
Do you understand all that I’ve said …
Maybe … maybe not.

I am speechless when it comes to express matters of heart
Not that I can’t find words to describe it.
I just don’t how I should say it.
To find an exact, precise words to profoundly express the contents of my heart.
I am speechless.
But I can say the word ‘I love you’.
That L word alone; in my thoughts of dictionary is not just a word on the surface.
If you register all that I have done for you …
Would you have doubted any of my actions against my feelings?

To express feelings in words
Is like sliding a bread knife on my throat.
Why that?
Simple;
I don’t know if what you are about to hear;
Is what you want to hear.

I don’t want to frighten you.
Nor do I want you to ridicule me.
I don’t want you to misunderstood my intention.
Nor do I want you to succumb into the unknown.
Above all of this, I don’t know if you are feeling the same way as I do.
That’s why, words can deny.
But my actions, don’t.

Do you not read my expression …
Through my action

Yes, we all;
At a due point of time, need to hear what the heart and the ears want to hear.
What the heart and ears want to feel.
Coz, once you’ve said what your feelings desires to be heard
There is no taking it back.

And those words said, is now printed and emboshed in the memory chip called the brain.
And we remember;
Words Of Love
Words Of Wisdom
Words Of Advise
Words Of Hurt
Words Of Torment
Words just to justify how you and I or any living being are feeling …
Let alone the action.

I think I have not made myself clear from the beginning.
I said what I have said with no intention of hurt.

What I meant to say;
I want to stay to know you better
I am afraid of being in love.
I’m no queen of love nor am I a master of hurt.

I love you much to sustain this relationship we have.
The more I get to know you.
The more I grow fond of you.

I see you as an individual.
You are no victim of my past.
Neither are you an object to take up the space in my heart.

I see you as a person with quality.
Not a quantity.
I see your intention with sincerity
Not with a passing remark.
Your sense Of humour
Lighten the great heights of my sorrow.
Your laughter
Washes away the burden of pain.
Your wisdom and your knowledge
Widens the horizon of my thoughts.
Your kindness …
Is unmeasurable.
Your thoughfulness
Is undeniable.

I feel, I have been misunderstood.
I feel, I have been victimised.
I feel, I have been labelled.
I feel, I have no place in your heart.
I feel, I am just a passing being that’s yet to leave a trace behind.
Not by choice, but due to circumstances that has once left a huge impact in your heart right up to your head.
That hurt remains chained around your thumping heart.
Memories repeatedly playing in your thoughts.
Maybe your heart still desires the sweetness of your past.
Maybe at the back of your head there is still a slightest hope of reconcile.

Do I stand a chance to be the person probably you might want to be with in the future.
Do you see if you and I together, planing a life ahead after
Is there any possibility of ‘us’ or do you by any close proximity see me as the person whom you are seeing.
Do you?